Welcome to my life.

My Hopeful Prayer…

Jon DeWard — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 06:56:03 +0000

…A while back I prayed to God, “How long must it be, Lord, that I am able to find the courage and strength to find someone for me?” Fortunately, I had received an answer that said to me, “Let it be known that in 40 days your question shall be answered.” And after I had finished praying, I realized that 40 days from then would land on June 27th. Despite believing that nothing will happen, just like everyone else would do, I am confident that something will happen on that day that will change my life forever.

“What it is I do not know, all that I know is that it exists.”

(A famous line quoted in the documentary, “The Secret”.)

I keep praying that it will come true what has been told to me. I just hope that it will come true so I know that everything will be fine and that I wont feel so alone anymore. Sure, some of you who are reading this that don’t believe in God must attest to the fact that I have faith in what I believe in despite cruel undertone criticism from those who have never been criticized in the first place. But, this is what I believe in and I will keep believing it, even after death.

–Jon

Well this sucks…

Jon DeWard — Fri, 09 May 2008 03:04:07 +0000

Apparently, my last day of school was yesterday and now I have nothing to do, nowhere to go, it just plain sucks. Anywho, I finally got a message from an old friend of mine who is telling me that hes coming home for the summer. How this sucks for me is the fact that I don’t get to go to Nac for the Summer. I have to stay here in flippin hot ol’ AZ, with absolutely nothing to do. People would say to me? Why don’t you fly there? Well, we all know I’m the starving artist here, jobless, and therefore no money what so ever is getting in my pockets. If anything, I’d say they are flying out of them. Anywho, enough about my ranting, I feel like having an ice cream cone. -_-”

–Jon

Today was quite interesting….

Jon DeWard — Thu, 01 May 2008 08:06:34 +0000

…My mathematics test was a take home test, my socioliogy class was cancelled and I’m using my playstation 3 to post this entry. Just trying something new I guess. Pretty productive day I must say. It got hot today, around 90 degrees. Yesterday was even more brutal. It was around 99 degrees and its barely the tail end of April.Anywho, I’m hoping my exams will run smoothly and I’ll pass all of my classes. I’m so happy that I get to have a take home test. That made my day for sure. I’ve also found out the advantages with the ps3. I could manage media on my other PC and access it on my PS3. How cool is that? Anywho, besides all of that, my life is ok at the moment. I wish I hd a girlfriend, as always, but I guess I’ll just have to wait a bi longer until I can get one. Wow, its like 1:00 Am here, I better get some sleep. Thank goodness I don’t have school tomorrow. That reminds me my English prof has finally gotten my 12 pg resaerch paper graded and is turning it back in to be on Friday. i sure hope I got a good grade. I worked hard at it.

–Jon ;D

I passed my tests, this causes for a celebration…

Jon DeWard — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 23:33:44 +0000

Apparently, two tests that I had taken last week, which I had thought that I had definitely bombed, turned out to be passing. I was so elated I laughed in a histarical matter. You can imagine the class’ reaction to my over reactive behavior. But I didn’t really cared what they thought. I was happy, cuz I passed. lol. Anywho, I’m thinking about going to the Enrollment center to set up classes for next fall. I know I’m probably jumping the gun, but I want to get the classes I need, and also see what are some of my options. Well, I still don’t have a girlfriend but at least I’m around a lot of girls at school, so its a start I guess. I’ve been trying to widen my options and trying to plan my next “attack” so to say. Anyways, enough of school. I need to play around for a while.

–Jon ;D

Today felt somewhat…

Jon DeWard — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 06:06:44 +0000

…awful today. I studied for a test, bombed it. I feel terrible today and I don’t even know why. Maybe because of not having a girlfriend imposes everything. Maybe its just my inner psyche thats just acting up. Maybe I’m just burned out from school. Oh who knows? All I know is that I just feel like I NEED a girlfriend. Ya know? Or at least someone to talk to. Heck I’d even go for a therapist at the moment. Maybe I’m just tired and need some sleep. Ah, but who cares right? Nobody cares what others think anymore.They don’t care if there is a friend in need even if he did help them out. Enough of this. I’m venting.

–Jon

Spring Break was a farse.

Jon DeWard — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 08:52:37 +0000

But oh well, at least I got to know some new peeps with my webcam. Its nice. Although I have to admit, it would have been nice to go somewhere during Spring Break, but I just chilled with some homies from college and some other peeps. Anywho, I watched some new movies recently. Well, not new to you per say, but very new to me. I saw “Reign Over Me” (which was awesome). I also saw some others I can’t quite remember at the moment but all I know is that they were awesome. Anyways, its almost 2 AM and I probably should get some sleep.

–Jon ;D

I have Vertigo.

Jon DeWard — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 23:26:51 +0000

I’ve had it for the past couple of days and feel as though i had been put through a tornado. Luckily today I went to the doc’s place to clean out my ears. It was nasty. Anyways, besides that, I’m feeling better but still sick. Hopefully I’ll feel better by tomorrow. I already missed a day of school because of this dizziness. I think I’ll go and get some sleep. My brain is acting weird.

–Jon ;D

I Feel a Sense of Avoidance.

Jon DeWard — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 07:59:23 +0000

Apparently, last week was V-Day (aka Single Awareness Day) and things have been kinda dismal. It seems as though people avoid me for some weird odd reason, as though I have an epidemic or something. Hopefully its just all in my head, because I don’t want to go through that feeling again. I want to have a girlfriend, its on my resolution’s list. But thinking about it, its not a “thing”, its a relationship. An “experience” as some would say. Why? Why should it be just bound to being just an experience? Why can’t it be a life changing event in each of our lives? Maybe those who say “experience” are just the ones who don’t want to settle down and have families. Maybe they got hurt really bad from a previous relationship and decided from then on to never have a relationship ever again. Thinking about it, they must be very lonely people. I mean, I could sympathize, knowing the fact that I never really had anyone special in my life besides some of my friends and family. Eh, maybe I’m just rushing things, but I don’t to be an old fart before I find someone. Maybe I’m just kinda jittery because my sister is married now and I feel a sense of responsibility to be next. All I know is that I’m just tired.

–Jon ;D

This day was full of blank.

Jon DeWard — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 06:34:05 +0000

Well, today was full meh. I didn’t get to do homework in Math but I got it off easy cuz I consulted on the phone about it with the prof. He said I could make copies of the page which was missing from the book and turn in that homework with Friday’s homework on Wednesday. And I responded with an enthusiastic “yay”. My other classes were bleh because it was pretty dismal outside. My Eng prof decided to have an open book quiz. More like a take home quiz. I got to make friends with a classmate in there. She’s cool. I might have asked her out, but I have a feeling she has a guy already. Actually I’d be surprised if she didn’t. Anywho, life is ok aside from a blank day.

Random Fact: I like longboard skateboards.

–Jon ;D

First Day of Spring Semester

Jon DeWard — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 06:46:52 +0000

Apparently I got different teachers than I was expecting to have but oh well. I don’t feel like screwing up my schedule any further than I have to. Aside from that it was pretty good. I have Tuesdays and Thursdays off because I only have MWF classes. Neato. Anywho, some of the new classmates I have are beautiful. I had a friend from Art class last semester that talked to me and asked how I was doing and stuff. I like her but I think she has a boyfriend. There’s a lot of girls I like on campus. Man if I only had the guts to talk to them, oh well. Life for the most part seems oblivious to loneliness. Its hard sometimes to live life everyday without somebody to help you out and support you. Ok, I know. My drama is bashing through my happy window and is butting its ugly face through it. I’m ok, its just the fact of trying to hide the realization of not having a girlfriend. You walk around campus and all you see is couples, couples, couples. It almost pisses me off at times. Ok, enough of the ranting. I should be positive and think of good things that happened. Well, I did get a sub sandwich from the place. At least I got to eat food. Which reminds me, I can’t wait for my dome lunch box to come. It even comes with a Thermos! I can’t wait! Anywho, I think I’ll get some sleep. I want to do something tomorrow.

–Jon ;D